Tuesday 29 September 2009

Why can't I do it?

I've had over a day to start. All I need to do is get some figures together for my 2nd thesis chapter. I have plenty. Yet it took half of Monday and all day Tuesday before I got up, took all the gels and went to the scanner and scanned them. Took maybe 30 minutes. Why am I being hit by super procrastination?! I need to have a meeting with my supervisor on Friday and show him. Someone please hit me with a wet kipper and make me finish this off.

Thursday 17 September 2009

Convictions.

BBC

Independent

Evening Standard


So three British Muslim males have been found guilty of trying to blow up planes. It's so incredibly depressing, coming right on the anniversary of the 11th September attacks. Why did they do it? What did they think they were going to accomplish?

In court, they have claimed that they were going to merely frighten people, rather than murder them, but that seems a bit far fetched, given the videos they filmed of themselves. They almost sound like gang members, "Don't mess with the muslims"... Yet from fear of being convicted, they lack the ability to proclaim this once again to the jury, and pretend that it's all a big misunderstanding.

One of the convicted men, Sarwar, said he suffered low self-esteem and thought he was "useless," after failing at University. A sad case of a vulnerable person lacking confidence and being taken advantage of?

At least I haven't heard any reactions along the lines of "Why aren't muslims doing more to stop this", as if we are all MI5 agents who can track down terrorists. These people don't go around shouting out their intentions at the local mosque to a baying mob, contrary to what some people obviously believe. Not that I have noticed anyway.

At the same time, we have people from the "English Defence League and Stop the Islamisation of Europe " marching to proclaim that they will not let their beloved England be taken over and turned into a muslim country. Do these people really believe this? I wonder if any of them have even ever spoken to a muslim in this country before. Maybe they are too busy watching the trial of these three young men on TV.

In the last few weeks, an elderly man was beaten to death outside a mosque not far from me. Another man was stabbed at another. Is it just coincidental, or the start of something worse? Difficult to stay optimistic, in times like these.

Saturday 5 September 2009

Half way there

Just finished the 15th fast of Ramadan 1430H (Sept 2009 AD). The first week or so was incredibly exhausting, the second week has been better. It's been tough this year, having Sehri (breakfast) before 4am, trying to get some sleep, then Iftar (breaking fast) at 8pm, then having dinner (unless I go to the mosque for the additional Taraweeh prayers , where they recite 1/30th of the Qur'an so that the entire Noble book is recited within the month) then trying to get some sleep. Sometimes I haven't bothered sleeping inbetween the end of the day and beginning of the next.

I've been having two toast with butter honey and banana slices for sehri, it's all I can manage in the morning. For iftar usually have a date, some fruit and something fried like a little kebab or samosa. Contrary to what almost everyone asks, no we don't sit there and stuff our faces. If only because you would end up feeling ill anyway.

Definitely losing weight, trousers are a very loose fit at the moment.

To the muslims reading - hope your fasts are going well.

To the non muslims - fancy a challenge? How do you think you'd cope fasting say, 3 days in a row?

Wednesday 26 August 2009

Did You Disappoint Your God?

What's it like when you die?
Do you live on in memories?
If you can, I wanna try
I didn't get nothing done in this life

I need to try
I need to try

I was right from the start
You get a knife in your heart
You want a wife and a car
You want the right to go to war

The Jealous guy gives you the nod
Did you disappoint your God?

Sorry I couldn't be there when you needed me
I barely can hold the pen through the flames that I'm seated in
I wait, but wait don't kill the pain

I was dying for a piece of it
Was crying for release, then it was gone
But I can't die
But I was crying for release
But I was dying for a piece and now it's gone

It's so easy, it's so easy
To give in, to give in
It's so easy, it's so easy
To give in, to give in
It's so easy, it's so easy
(i was dying for a piece of it, was crying for release and now it's gone)
To give in, to give in
It's so easy, it's so easy
(i was dying for a piece of it, was crying for release and now it's gone)
To give in, to give in
It's so easy, it's so easy
(building a dream, building a dream)
To give in, to give in
Building a dream

www.youtube.com/watch?v=abxRNHu88_I

Monday 24 August 2009

Ramadhan Mubarak!

Well today was the third day of fasting for Ramadhan, I was speaking to a non Muslim about it on a forum, and he exclaimed that giving up food and drink for the daylight hours for a month was far too difficult, that he couldn't even imagine trying it. Does it really sound that daunting to people? No food or drink for just over 16 hours. Yes it's hard work, but a billion people are managing just fine. Many poor people around the world manage to survive on little food for the entire year.

Why do muslims fast, I've been asked several times. Well the most direct answer would be because God told us to!

O who believe, fasting is decreed for you as it was decreed for those before you; perchance you will guard yourselves The month of Ramadan is the month in which the Quran was sent down, a guidance for the people, and clear verses of guidance and criterion.)[Quran 2:183]

Previous religious communities have fasted, and this tradition is carried on in Islam. Fasting teaches us to be grateful for what we have, and to feel pity for those who go without day after day, and increases our self control. The resulting state of ketosis also induces a more spiritual frame of mind.

Well as usual, the third day has hit me pretty hard, I;m tired and worn out. Tomorrow will prob be bad too. After that, it tends to get easier as you settle into the new routine of less sleep, food and drink.

I haven't quite settled into the more spiritual aspect. So far have only been to the mosque once for the additional taraweeh prayers, during which they recite 1/30th of the Qur'an per night, thus reciting the entire scripture over the month. I am doing the dawn and sunset prayers at the start and end of each fast, but haven't really gotten into the swing of achieving more of the Five daily prayers which are required throughout the year. Let's just say it's a work in progress.

I am missing the gym already. I tried some of the mobility exercises instead from Eric Cressey's Magnificent Mobility DVD. I think I need some serious work on some dynamic stretches.

Thursday 20 August 2009

Today was actually a good day

I managed to finish on time yesterday AND today, and get a pretty silver stained gel and a nice Western Blot = figure for my thesis. I even have gone out for dinner both days in a row - OMG , a social life! What is my life coming to?

Now if I can only make this the norm rather than the exception. Work and Life in a happy balance.

Training on hiatus

Since the fasting month of Ramadhan is approaching,I have decided to put training on hold for now. Since the muslim lunar calendar is 11 days shorter than the solar year, the dates for Ramadhan move backwards relative to the common Western calendar, so fasting will be during the long hot days of summer. With that and work pressure, I've decided training would be counter productive. I just hope I don't go stir crazy in the meantime!

I first started thinking about weight lifting when I was about 17 and bought my first issue of the UK edition of Mens Health. Before that, I probably had not really considered worrying about my general bodyshape or physique all that much. That changed. Thankfully I have never become overly concerned or neurotic about it. In those days, MH magazine was of a much better standard than it is now, with better articles on training, and fewer ridiculous claims like "Get ripped in 7 days while eating pizza!"
or the like. I decided to go buy a set of weights with dumbells and barbells from Argos. I didn't even bother thinking about how I was going to get 40kg of weights home. Cue me struggling, dragging it from the shop for 5m, stopping to rest, drag another 5m, rest..... I bumped into a friend who took pity, and called a taxi for me. Used the weights for a while to train in my bedroom, but with no bench, training was limited.

I truly regret not learning more at the time, and wasting the years that followed. While at Uni, I trained only intermittently at the gym, with no real progress, and no clue as to what I was doing. Diet was not even considered at all. At 5'8'', I weighed 57kg.

It went on like that in the years that followed. I did make some progress during 2006, getting my weight up from 57 to 67kg. It wasn't until I signed up to http://www.mansized.co.uk/talk, and read up on training, that I finally started to learn something. In February 2008 I finally moved from machines to more free weights style, and actually saw some real progress. Finding the stronglifts program (http://www.stronglifts.com) made the biggest change, I went from 67 to 75kg. Improving my diet went a ways too.

SInce then, various pressures (usually work) have kept me from going much further. At the moment, my personal bests are

Bench 60kg
Squat 95kg
Deadlift 120kg

I am still learning, and I hope that after Ramadan is over, I can get back into training with purpose anew, and eat, train and sleep properly to achieve my best. There are various programs I want to try out, will probably have a go at Eric Cressey's book Maximum Strength,

Monday 10 August 2009

Content?

Thanks to Lijit, I know that some people at least are reading this blog - there are actually a few hits each day (one day had as many as 17 people visit here)!

Based on the title, I would think I should aim my posts to be either about my experiences in the lab or about my views of life as a muslim. But that's incredibly limiting, and makes it sound like those are the only aspects of my life which shape my viewpoint, which is untrue. On the other hand, I don't want to turn this into some rambling never ending monologue about life, the universe and everything.

If you are reading - thoughts?

Tuesday 28 July 2009

Identity issues....

I was talking to someone about potential conflict when you feel split between different worlds. As he explains in his blog http://michael-contemporarymusings.blogspot.com/, he is half English, half Indonesian. Both of my parents are from Pakistan, but I don't really feel much of an affinity for the country. I'm very much a Londoner, born and bred. Waving flags and singing national anthems makes me cringe. If Lord Tebbitt wants to apply his cricket test to me, I'll tell him I don't care if England or Pakistan wins the match, cricket is boring. I'm not pulled between two different worlds because I don't really fit into either. I'm very religious compared to my English friends, but compared to my muslim friends of Pakistani descent, I'm v liberal. I've trained to be a scientist, but don't want to follow that field anymore.

Basically, I feel a bit all over the place. Or maybe I'm just eclectic, and interesting.

"I am large, I contain multitudes" as Whitman would say.

Monday 13 July 2009

What's Past is Prologue

An introduction would probably help, wouldn't it?

OK, let's see. I'm 28, London born and bred (I have occasionally ventured beyond the Watford Gap, but to be honest, anything beyond the M25 has the label "Here be dragons" in my mindmap). My parents are from Pakistan. I'm a muslim, reasonably religious with an unpredictable streak of liberalism. I've always wanted to work in the life sciences, and am currently working towards finishing my PhD in Biochemistry.

I like writing (things like this - I do NOT enjoy writing chapters for my PhD thesis). I hope to develop my writing skills, and this blog is, partially at least, in aid of that.

I ought to have picked a better username really - Phoenix is a little too ubiquitous. Still, you can find me on various websites as Phoenix or PhoenixUK or FeenixUK

http://www.mansized.co.uk/members/Phoenix

http://www.last.fm/user/FeenixUK

http://www.youtube.com/user/FeenixUK

http://www.43things.com/person/PhoenixUK

Tuesday 7 July 2009

My first post

This should be something profound, which will really grab readers' attention and retain them as return visitors.

........

I thought the whole blogging phenomenon was pretty much over - I mean, it's so 1997 (I got that date from wiki as the first known example of someone using the phrase as a verb and noun - what did people do PW {pre wikipedia}).

The only blog I've read recently is http://londonpreppy.blogspot.com/ . Give it a read, it's hilarious. I do worry about the writer's mental health ;)

I toyed with the idea of starting my own blog, I mean, I think I have a lot to write about. I'm a fairly unique individual, I must have thoughts that others would be interested in reading. But then everyone thinks that about their own thoughts, so isn't it really arrogant to presume they are worthy of being preserved for posterity in the electronic ether?

Meh.

Was chatting to my friend D about what I want to do in the future. As usual, writing cropped up. "Start a blog," he suggested. So I did.